


Little John.

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:20:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16510964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: Stress is causing John a little problem. But Kayleigh is sure she can help.





	Little John.

“ So are you going to ignore me all the way in then ?” 

“ I'm not ignoring you “ 

“ Well you haven't said much , sod all actually , feels like you're ignoring me” 

“ Look I've got a lot on my mind okay “ 

“ Don't dwell on it John, you'll end up being too hard on yourself “ 

“ Is that supposed to be funny is it ? “ he glared at her.

“ What ?” 

“ You gonna do that all day, little snide remarks ?” 

“ You know what John, just go back to ignoring me , I preferred that to your bloody moods” 

“ Suits me “ 

“ Your making too much of it you know, you're turning a little thing into a big deal “ 

 

“ Again , the snide remark , thanks for your understanding ,I don't bloody think “ 

“ You're paranoid John, that's your problem “ she said turning the radio up, to discourage any further conversation.

The rest of the trip in was quiet, she didn't want to talk , and he didn't want to listen, they couldn't get to work quick enough .

The Fiat pulled into its usual space, Kayleigh was out almost before it had stopped, foregoing their usually see you later kiss, she marched into work, a stern faced John trailing behind, both points studiously noted by Joyce, Diane and Pamela.

“ That looked frosty “ said Joyce “ No kiss, no cuddle, no bye bye “ 

“ That's the honeymoon over then “ Diane replied “ Trouble in paradise no doubt “ 

“ I'll ask Elsie,” Joyce added “ if anyone knows she will “ 

Kayleigh was kept busy and didn't really have time to dwell on their argument, John on the other hand could think of nothing else. 

“ Time to be the bigger person “ He thought “ Say sorry like a big boy “ 

He walked down the central aisle towards the promotions stall.

 

“ You're the talk of the shop yous two so you are, people noticed you were a bit frosty with each other this morning , you okay Kayleigh love ?”

“ Fine Elsie we just had a bit of a niggle at each other on the way in that's all, nothing serious” 

“ Too much bed not enough sleep, been there done that “ Elsie winked.

“ Elsie !” Kayleigh said starting to blush.

“ Oh lovey I was a newly wed too once, long time ago granted but I remember it, oh yes I remember it well” 

“ Johns just a bit tired that's all” 

“ I bet he is “ Elsie giggled.

“ He's a bit stressed with work, moving house and his , his, and other things “ she quickly changed tack.

“ Burned him you out you have you saucy little minx , but your secret’s safe with me , I'm saying nothing “ Elsie said tapping the side of her nose .

“ I think he's maybe a bit rundown actually , a bit fed up , he's having problems sleeping , can't seem to drop off, when he does it's not a satisfying sleep “ 

“ I'm sure he'll be better by bed time “ Elsie said as she turned.

She turned and bumped into John who had just arrived at the stall.

 

“ Hiya Mr Redmond , Kayleigh was just saying you're not yourself “ 

John looked with horror towards Kayleigh, she in turn looked mortified.

“ If you need a little night time help , I'm sure you can get something from Joyce in the pharmacy “ 

“You what ?” 

“ For a little help at bedtime, you can get some good stuff now, over the counter like, don't need a prescription like you used to “ 

“ I,....I …” John stammered. 

“ It might be enough to give you the satisfying one you need , I can ask if you want , if you're too shy “ 

Kayleigh was standing with her hands to her mouth , wide eyed and blushing .

“ No Elsie it's fine “ John said.

“Okay “ she said walking away.” If you're sure “ 

 

John waited till she was out of earshot, glaring scarlett faced at Kayleigh.

“ I didn't tell her “ she quickly said.” I wouldn't “ 

“ Oh she just bloody guessed did she ?” 

“ She was talking about your………” 

“ I bloody know what she was talking about , and so will the whole shop, how could you tell her, her of all bloody people ?” 

“ I didn't tell her John, listen to me will you, what I said was….” 

“ I'll be a bloody laughing stock now “ 

“ John will you listen ?”

“You said enough already , you'd be better off keeping your gob shut ! “ 

“ I beg your pardon “ 

“ You heard ! “

“ Don't you dare talk to me like that Jonathan Redmond , I'm your wife , I'm not just another one of your workers you know ?”

“ Well you're gossiping like one” 

“ You saying I'm a gossip , that' what you think is it ?”

“ Will I say what I think will I ? “

“ Why don't you , I could say more too if I wanted you know, ? I wish I had bloody told her now “ 

“ Still denying it then ?”.

“ I told her eff all John “ 

“ Well she must be bloody psychic then eh !”

“ I didn't mention your problem “

“ So you keep saying “ 

“ And I'll keep saying it until it gets through to you “ 

“ Okay Kayleigh whatever “ John waved his hand dismissively 

“ You condescending bast……” 

“ Enough “ they heard Dave Thompson roar “ I suggest you two get to my office now, you shouting at each other is drawing a crowd “ 

Right enough when they looked around , some of the shoppers and most of the passing staff had stopped to watch the ongoing verbal domestic .

They marched off sheepishly. 

“ Right the pair of you, I will not have senior staff behaving like this in my store understand ?.  
Whatever is up with you , leave it at home or in the car okay. If this happens again I'll transfer one of you, got it ?” 

“ Got it “ they replied together.

“ Good , right I'll give you 10 minutes to clear the air , then get back to work like the professionals you're supposed to be. One more set to and it's goodbye to one of you , remember that , 10 minutes “ 

As the door closed Kayleigh started,

“ I did not tell Elsie about your problem as you call it , I said you were having trouble getting a satisfying sleep, and that you were a little bit run down, that's what she was talking about, something to help you sleep. I can't believe you think I would tell anyone about the other thing, that's strictly between us , even Mandy wouldn't get to know about that. How you think a wife would betray something like that is beyond me, it really is. You're paranoid John, effing paranoid “ 

With that she stormed off, almost taking the door off the hinges. 

John realised that he had put his foot in it, again? , both feet right up to his bollocks, which he would be lucky to keep after this. 

He texted her several times, all ignored , similarly his calls were dismissed. He walked past her several times, he was sure he was getting frostbite such were the cold stares he received. In the end he decided to let her cool down in her own time. She'd be fine when they finished, well not fine but she might not kill him, much .

He sat in the car watching for her , she opened the passenger door ,

“ I'm getting the tram and bus , don't feel like sharing tonight “ she slammed the door and stormed off.

“ Shit , she's really mad “ thought John.

“ Come on love get in , don't be silly “ He said driving alongside.

“ Eff off John , I'm not talking to you , take the hint “ she crossed the street so he couldn't drive alongside. 

“ Message received “ He thought and drove off.

 

“ All right darling? “ He leered. 

“ Fine thanks “ she noticed that although there were plenty empty seats he had chosen the one next to her.

“ Heading home are you ?” she could smell alcohol and tobacco on his breath, and a staleness off his clothing.

“ Yes , home to my husband , thank you for asking” 

“ Where do you live then ?” 

“ Oh not far now” she could see him staring at her , well not all of of her, he seemed to have a boob fixation.

“ Me neither “ 

“ Oh good” she had thought about getting off , and getting the next bus , to try to get away from him , but that might be where he was getting off, she was stuck .

“ This one?” he asked shuffling closer 

“ No not yet “ 

“ Okay I can wait “ 

At the next stop , she was close to panic, close but not yet. Her knight was at the bus stop.

 

John got on and walked up the aisle , making a beeline for Kayleigh. 

“ Excuse me buddy “ He said to the creep.

“ F off I'm chatting to this lady here “ 

John grabbed the creep by the lapels and hoisted him out of the seat, 

“ If your finished chatting to my wife, I'd like to sit next to her, okay buddy ?”

“ Oh your wife, no problem, no harm done darling eh, just being friendly “ He said finding a seat as far away from John as possible. 

 

“ You know I'm a dick , so today shouldn't have been to much of a surprise, I'm sorry for what I said “ 

“ I'm not angry with what you said as much as what you thought “ 

“ Eh ?” 

“ You thought I'd tell someone else what happened, or didn't, I'd never do that, I don't think any wife would, that's far too personal , you don't share that type of failure John “ 

“ Oh” John said deflated.

“ Not your failure John, I must be to blame too “ 

“ How do you make that out ?, the failure is all mine, nowt to do wi you “ 

“ I couldn't help, maybe I'm not doing it for you anymore ?” 

“ Yes you are ” 

“ But not lately though eh ?”

“ Not your fault not at all okay, don't think that “ 

She held his hand ,and rested her head on his shoulder, just like the last time they shared a seat on the bus a little over a year ago .

“ Right this is our stop let's go “ 

“ This is miles from home John “ 

“ I know, but I didn't have time to go all the way home and get a bus back so I parked half way, let's go love “

“ Can't wait to get home and relax, that guy was creeping me out “ 

“ Giving you a hard time was he ?“ 

She looked at him and sniggered.

“ Wish I'd thought of that one this morning “

“ Bloody knew you were winding me up “ 

“ I was trying to cheer you up , but you weren't having it “ 

“ Any others? “ 

“ Big softie, no hard feelings, keep your pecker up, feeling a bit stiff, not up to the task “ 

“Alright, alright I get the picture, talk about kicking a man when he's down , it’s hard enough as it is “

This time they both burst out laughing.

“You've been looking at your phone for a while what’s Mandy saying ?”

“Google, apparently you might be having performance anxiety, or stress”

“ Stress ?”

“ The wedding, selling the house, the extra workload you're doing in store and at home, and me papping on about starting a family right away, that lot is enough to stress anyone”

“Performance thingy?”

“ Trying for kids, so sex is not just a fun thing to do anymore, it’s more meaningful now, more expectation, subconsciously you might feel under pressure”

“ Hope that's all there is to it , it's been a week “ 

“ I'm sure it is, you just need to relax, worrying about how long it's been won't help, sorry didn't  
mean that one “

In no time they were home, Kayleigh insisted that John sat down in the living room and relaxed, she would prepare supper later, she put his favorite playlist on , and went upstairs, she was going to help john relax if it killed him .

“ John come upstairs a minute will you love ? “

When John got up to the spare room, he found that she had set up her massage table, and was standing wearing her best smile rubbing oil into her hands.

“ Might help your tension, help you relax a bit , wanna try , ok if you don't”

“ Sure, it was good the last time, remember ?”

“Oh I remember alright, you animal “

Kayleigh tenderly massaged his neck and shoulders, eliciting groans of approval , she then worked down his back and buttocks, thighs and calves, he was relaxing alright.

“ Right roll over, i'll do the front , John are you listening, roll over “

She looked and found him fast asleep.

“ That's what you call relaxed “ she pulled a duvet over him, and after switching the light off went down stairs.

About 90 mins later John appeared at the door to the kitchen where Kayleigh was busy cooking supper.

“Believe it or not, that was the best sleep i've had for ages, your hands work magic “

“Supper is almost ready , you hungry ?”

“ You know me love I can always eat “

“Fajitas ok ?”

“ Perfect, what did I do to deserve you I wonder ?”

“ Just being you is good enough “

After supper they talked for a while then watched some mind numbing TV, John was getting bored

“ Think i’ll have a bath, haven’t had one in ages” John said stretching 

“ I'll run it for you” Kayleigh said “ You sit here an I'll shout when it's ready ok ?“ 

“Okay love thanks “ 

“ Right John time for your bath “ she shouted down a short time later. 

John opened the bathroom door, there were candles all around , he could smell the lavender bath oil in the air , and there was a Kenny G playlist running on his Bluetooth speaker. 

“ Bloody hell sweetheart you got this spot on didn't you ? “ 

“ You like it then ?” 

“ It's great love thanks” 

“ I'll go and pour us some wine, you can preserve your modesty and get in when I'm out the room, be back in a tick “ 

John sighed as he slipped into the almost scalding water, 

“ Bloody luxury this, grade A1, top of the range bloody luxury” 

“ Here you go , a nice Merlot, “ 

“ Thanks, oh this is superb, absolutely superb , I can feel my worries soak away “ 

“Does look and smell inviting right enough “ 

“ Come on then “ 

“ What the two of us in there ? “

“ Why not ?” 

“ It would overflow and ruin the laminate, that's why not “ 

John looked at her, raised his eyebrows and theatricality pulled the plug, allowing the level to drop slightly.

“ Problem solved “ He said smiling.

“ Ok but I'll have to get in slowly , it's a bit hot for me “ 

“Fair enough , I'm in no hurry “ He folded his arms behind his head and watched her intently .

She slowly stripped, John had forgotten just how good she looked, God she was stunning, the massage and the bath, combined with the lovely view, was certainly making him feel like a new man. A man who was beginning to feel a very welcoming stirring. 

“ How do I get in ? “ asked Kayleigh 

“ Sit on the end, there , slip in slowly and we can sit face to face, that's the advantage of a roll top no tap end “

“ Okay nice and slow, feet first slip in slowly “ 

 

“ That's it love Sit on the end grip the sides and slide in “

John's view was getting even better , and the stirring he felt was noticeable , and becoming more noticeable 

“ Oh John “ Kayleigh said smiling at him “ you've got a sti…..”

Before she could finish her sentence, she lost her balance and slid feet first at speed into the bath, her feet hitting John full force in the groin, in her thrashing to get herself into a sitting position she kicked him again,, soaked the floor, knocked the Bluetooth speaker into the toilet and extinguished most of the candles , she then leapt out and pulled the hook off the door in the rush for a towel.

John meantime sat nursing his aching groin , and whimpered like only John could .

As they lay spooned in bed that night, they seemed to be taking turns in giggling as they each thought of the absurdity of the evenings happenings.

“ Only us Kayleigh, only us “ 

“ Funny now though isn't it , how's your ….?” 

“ Still bloody sore “ 

“ Hope you get to sleep ok , I'm sure you'll be ok tomorrow “ 

“ Yea, night night love “ 

In the morning John woke to see Kayleigh smiling at him , 

“ What ?” 

She lifted the duvet and looked down , 

“ Hello little John , nice to see you're back, how are you today ?” 

It turns out he was just fine.

 

The Fiat parked up as usual, the usual crowd in the smoking shelter noticed them kiss before they got out, they also noticed them walking hand in hand with huge soppy smiles.

“ Love's young dream “ said Joyce 

“ Nice isn't it ? said Diane

“ Lovely “ they said together.


End file.
